Driving in pre-dawn darkness

This term, we have been reflecting more than ever on healing, wholeness and integration. Here, Lucy shares a particular terror of hers, and an experience of integration both with her body and with a wider story: that first Easter Dawn. Thanks, Lucy!

Driving in pre-dawn darkness
Draws (for me) a deep shade of terror –
And on this unfamiliar, unlit,
Curving, swerving, hurtling highway,
I can almost smell
The pungent permanent ink of it.

I am:
Two eyes on two headlights,
Two hands clutching a wheel,
A foot nursing a brake.

Around bends and up and down hills,
Unaware but keenly conscious of
What is or might be
Beyond my brave pool of light,
Two eyes two headlights two hands and a foot,
I press on.

Many more miles and minutes
Of hurtling highway and stinky inky terror,
Two eyes two headlights two hands and a foot,
I press on.

Until,
Slowly,
Light is
Suddenly
Everywhere –

As surprising and as familiar
As an unexpected Dear Friend
Appearing in a strange and lonely garden.

I can see:
The long broad road ahead,
The dappled fields either side,
The signs, the overtaking lanes,
The guard rails,
And how –

My eyes, hands, foot,
All actually belong
To this body that was here,
Driving safely, all along.

Reflect: When have you experienced both terror and a new dawn? What did the light enable you to see? Did it lead to any sense of integration, wholeness or healing?

Emailed to Sanctuary 23 June 2021 © Sanctuary, 2021. Photo by chmyphotography on Unsplash.

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