Cartalk / Tabletalk 8: Jacob wrestles

Jacob doesn’t have to wrestle. He could stay with his women and children and servants: there is safety in numbers. He could sedate himself with wine or the web or some ancient Palestinian Prozac, and allow his encounter with the stranger to remain a blur. He could yield to the stranger at the beginning, crying ‘I give up! Leave me!’ But he doesn’t. He allows himself to be alone, vulnerable, wide awake in the dead of night. The stranger comes. Jacob wrestles; he grasps; he is wounded: and he is blessed. Continue reading “Cartalk / Tabletalk 8: Jacob wrestles”

Forgiving yourself

When someone finds out I’m a Christian, they almost always say, “I’m not — but I’m a good person!” Good for you, I think, because I know I’m not. My innate tendency is to react to everything with anger, and if people are burned in the conflagration, to blame them. (Those of you familiar with the Enneagram are by now nodding your heads and saying, I knew she was a One!) It has been and continues to be my life’s work to notice each surge of rage, identify the trigger, then breathe out slowly and deeply and let it go in peace. Continue reading “Forgiving yourself”

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